No One Called the Rector

This poem came today in our monthly mailout from the diocese (that's the region that's overseen by our Bishop Michael Hawkins). We thought it was very funny - although unfortunately quite true more often than we'd like to admit - and we had to share it. So do enjoy the poem - and remember to call your minister when major life events occur! :-)

Note for all non-Anglicans: the rector is basically the minister in charge in a place.

 No One Called the Rector

When little Damian was born

amid great joy on Monday morn;

They called their parents just to say,

that everything was "A Okay"; 

They called the papers to announce

his name and weight in pounds and ounce;

They bragged with "fire and smoke and bounce",

but no one called the Rector.

When Damian's parents had their fight

amid great noise on Friday night;

They called their lawyers to present

a quick divorce and settlement;

They signed the forms that sealed their fate

and told their friends of their new state;

They divided up their real estate,

but no one called the Rector.

When Granny had her spell that day

they called the doctor right away;

They called her friends and family

because, of course, she's ninety-three

and suffers from a faulty heart

which tends to skip and stop and start;

And they all thought she'd soon depart,

but no one called the Rector.

The Rector bought a crystal ball,

some tarot cards and voodoo doll;

He bought a new car with "C.B.",

and took a course on E.S.P.,

He nightly charts the stars for signs;

He's read a book on reading minds;

He's sold the phone and cut the lines,

since no one calls the Rector.  

-attributed to The Reverend D.A. Petley, (with apologies to S.J. Forrest)