Welcome to Plaid Eggnog!

Welcome to Plaid Eggnog!

Aug 12, 2011

On Holding my Daughter for the First Time

Dear Anastasia,
Just after 8:30 on Aug 10th, a nurse tapped me on the shoulder, said "Here she is," and set you in my arms.

It was not the first time I'd laid eyes on you. A few minutes earlier, the skilled surgeon performing the C-section that brought you into this world held you up, above the screen separating me and your mum's head and shoulders from the operating area a few inches away, so that we could see you. What a glorious sight you were!

Then they took you away for some initial care and assessment. And my attention returned to your mum. We chatted excitedly - a girl, how wonderful!

When the nurse placed you in my arms, I was flooded with a jumble of confusing emotions. Most obvious, to me anyway, was terror at my inexperience in holding something - someone - so tiny and fragile!

There was relief at your safe arrival, mixed with anxiety for your mum, for whom the good doctors still had several more minutes of work to do.

I also felt gratitude, for answered prayer - both for God's blessing that gave us a child, and for God's day by day work knitting you together, from your hairy head to your so-small toes and fingers.

And joy! You are such a gift, and I look forward to knowing more and more the unique person God has made you to be.

There may also have been a passing ripple of trepidation, for when the day comes that you first ask for the car keys, or bring home a boyfriend? Fortunately I have years yet to get a handle on those fatherly anxieties!

And a thread of insecurity about the responsibilities I now have, with this tiny life depending on me in ways new to me.

There were also hopes and hints of future plans and dreams - the world is an awesome place, and I want to show you some of its wonders! The smell of fresh-baked bread; the feel of a crisp sea-breeze; the arid wilderness landscape; mountain sunsets; and so much more.

And over and through it all, a new kind of love, something for which I have no adequate words to express, beyond this humble effort.

Welcome, little one! May God continue to watch over you, your mum and me every minute of every day.
-Dad (Steve)


  1. i'm a sappy sue, steve, this is beautiful and someday anastasia will read it, and especially when she's a little miffed that she can't have the car keys to go and visit her new boyfriend, she will remember the words and know your love.

  2. *sigh* God bless you you and your family, Steve.

  3. so touching steve love that part ..welcome to anastasia again ..

    hope all of you three are well and learn how to all together
    may God looks after all of you
    valerie (julie french penpal and friend

  4. Ahhh so cute! Congrats you guys!

  5. Oh I remember that first holding-my-son seconds. The unreal thing all of a sudden becamw real - he was really there.
    May God bless your little family

  6. Congratulations you guys, there is nothing better.